Pre celebration of izzul convo day

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

Today @ secret recipe, KLCC

Something worth to share :)

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

- be good n be urself.. After all, this is what we call LIFE!

May i?!..

Discuss, or more to chat with hubby about this some1. How she stabbed me!, n how that things make me DOWN lately.

Couldnt believe, how could her! Really gunting dlm lipatan laa n guess what hubby said.. "Dia xmau syg nega la tu. Bkn semua org suka kita senang. Bukan semua org suka tgk kita berjaya. Tak pyh la mntk tlg dia lg. Syg buat hal syg sudah. Xberjaya org yg dengki ni!"

Yes. Indeed so true!.. Tak berjaya org yg suka dengki mendengki.
But, demi Allah, sy nega kecil-kecilan shj. Buat mengisi msa lapang yg asyik online 24jam. niat pun bukan nak bersaing ngan sesapa.

Just nak extra income for myself utk beshopping online(heheheh), without burden my hubby dgn my hobby yg suka beshopping bagai nih. Tu shj. Xberniat nak potong line dia atau nak buat dia bankrap!!..

hello! Kmu pun nega brg biasa, tak sampai bankrap aihhh!
Plus, online biz is for everyone. Not just u! Rezki Allah utk semua.

Bkn jika sy berniaga, kmu da xada sumber rezki. Susahkan if dealing ngan some1 yg tertutop hati dan minda. Kannn..

So ok lah, sy kan isteri yg mendengar kata. :)
baik lah en hubby, lpas nih sy takkan msg her lagi n will block her too.
Errr.. May i? ;))

OK me?!

Im not OK!.. Not OK emotionally!..where gone the happy-go-lucky me?!
To whom should i share this. My other-half seems dont understand this. Maybe too tired to understand me. Ya, after all he's too has his own prob, dealing his hard time in biz now!..or maybe he thought he's not the 1 causing this!...So who's next?.. Again!.. To whom should i share?!
Feel like to block all frens that i dont want to be frens of. Feel like to spam all the tagging thingy. Feel like to scream, shout it out loud! Really i hate them. I dont like them. They r bad! Can i just say all that to them. I hate selfish peoples! I hate people who dunno how to respect other people. I hate them. I hate them so much that i couldnt stand to talk to them or even look at their face, not even once! Or couldnt stand just to read their status in my fb!..so.. Can i just block them?!.. Kick their bloody ass out of my life?! Can just i..ha?!..
Ya!..Im NOT OK!.. yet.. N now still, im NOT OK! This is a very hurtful moment. My hard time dealing with myself.
Feel like having nobody now. All by my own. I have no mom to share this. I just have my lil'raihanna, who is just too small to understand everything.
My blog, my e-corner for me to express everything or anything in my heart.
This is my own space to letting go whatever unsatisfaction matter i felt about something or somebody. So my my own rights to write anything here. And i dont ask u to read. Neither for u to comment.

Raihanna Marissa

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

Pictures speak louder than words kannn :)

Raya?!

Its raya!!.. Yeayyy..!! Balik kampung.. Oooo.. Balik kampung!.. Hati riangg!!..
Hurmmm, yaa hati riang.. Sronok kann jumpa mak bpk n sdara mara..
But for me this year, ramadhan sgt2 dinantikan..but syawal tu feel sdey laa coz da xada anyone nak disambut bersama!..
Yesss!!..of kos Aku masih ada suami, ank2 n famili mertua. Tapi xsamakan bersalaman dgn ibu sendri!.. Huhu
Siyes!.. Raya tahun nih mmg xbest!.. Sbab pk kan my adek beraya sorg2, sian plak. So balik la penang. Klu ikutkan, raya di perak je lerr, blah hubby.
1st time jugak tahun nih buat rendang n lontong hasil air tgn sndri. Tidak sorry oiii!!..arwah mak jugak laaa yg msk kan. Ank tersayang nih tukang merasa n mkn ja. Huhuhu.. Tahun nih hamek ko buat sndri semuanya. Sep baek laaa jadi. Sedap la jugak. Tp apa nak kata kann, sedap lagi laaa air tgn arwah mak.
Rindunya dekat arwah allah ja yg tau. Arwah abah dlu took me 5years to cool n calm down. To ease the pain of losing some1 yg aku syg. So this year am losing my mom, n for sure it will takes me another 5 years to ease the pain. Its really hurts u oll tau x..
Well, allah lebih menyayangi her.
Semoga roh arwah mak dirahmati dan ditempatkan di tempat mereka yg beriman... Aamiin..

12/4/2012

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

Innalillahiwainnahilaihirrojiun... Al-fatihah utk arwah mak..

Mak!.. Sungguh xkan ada gantinya smpi bila2 pun, xkan lupa smpai bila2 pun.. Sudah 6months++ but i miss her so much..

Sungguh xpuas take care of her, xpuas masak utk dia (walaupun xpandai sgt msk pun). I miss all my last moment with her..!

But still alhamdulillah, syukran sbb made wise decision going back to penang on last skull holiday, eventhough time tu baru 2mgu berpantang.. Gamble!..

Ingat sgt waktu tu, btol2 nak jumpa her.. N alhamdulillah, waktu tu mak stuju nk ikut blik kl.. So it gave me the best opportunity to berbakti di ujg2 hayatnya kan..

N alhamdulillah again, ive done my best to make her happy..anything that she tringin nk mkn dpt disediakan.. N alhamdulillah, she dapat tgk n played with raihanna n amni, my dotter n niece..

Alhamdulillah, at least they dpt tgk their opah(xtau la besar nnt ingat lg ke x)..
Just what make me ralat sgt, im not by her side on her last breath:(.. Raihanna cried!..

So i have to stay home, just hubby alone went to the hospital, n it is already 12midnite when she nazak!..

Having baby cammot going out at that time!.. Huh!.. Ye ker?..Poor me kan.. Rugi!..sgt2 rugi..!sgt2 rsa berdosa!!..am i not a good dotter?.. Adoiiiii!!.. Mmg rsa terkilan sgt!..

Moga arwah mak ampunkan dosa yan ya.. :-/ siyes wehh.. Sedey!.. Sapa xsdey bila kehilangan ibu kannn..

Kalau diikutkan mmg redha n berdoa biar Allah jemput mak sbb ksian tgk her sakit. Tapi bila da btol2 jadi.. Ya Allah, xada daya nak menahan kesedihan itu. Sedeh!!.. Sgt2 sedeh. Mcm xpcya pun ada. Aku dah xada mak?!..

Ya Allah, berat dugaan Mu, msih blom puas hidup dgn arwah mak.. Masih blom puas berbakti. Rsa rugi hari2 yg lepas x di manfaatkan sebaek mungkin. Rsa blom ckup balas jasa2 arwah.

Blom puas. Semuanya, blom puas!!.. Xkan ada lagi kesempatan itu!.. But i believe,n i wish, may Allah give me another opportunity to be with her in Jannah! Aamiin..

When miracle does happen- dgn izin Allah

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

sadness + dissappointed seems to fade away when +vely pregnant!.. Who said someone got thyroid cannot get pregnant n giving birth to a healthy baby girl?..

Ya, if in sc term n as per doc who expert more in a particular desease, that is the consumption they can made.. But when we come to kuasa allah.. Allah the almighty, anyone cant deny it..

Ive been told that cant get pregnant until my thyroid hormone is in so call ok level.. And as per doc, it is not easy bcoz it is just started.Will take years to get normal back..

But kuasa allah bukan..anything can happen. Been diagnosed on sept 2010, with hyperthyroid, free from it on feb 2011.. N +vely pregnant on june 2011!!..

29.02.2012, 9months 9days @5.40pm, 40minutes bertarung okehhh!.. Hehhe.. Me succesfully giving birth to a beautiful baby girl..syukran..

Bertambah lg cucu hj yusuf mariah n hamzah kamisah.. Bertambah lagi umat nabi muhammad saw.. :)

See...miracle does happen kan if dgn izin allah.. ;))